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30 days hath November, April June and December, all the rest have 31. Except February, which has an R in there where you don’t expect it. If only the people of the Alaskan town invaded by the vampires had memorized this simple mnemonic. If only they could have said “mnemonic”. But they couldn’t, because their lips were frozen together.
 
 
Then it got dark. Then darkerer. For thirty days and thirty nights it got dark.

Darker than dark.

Darkity dark dark.

(spoiler alert)

Then came the vampires.

Then it was all “ARRRRRRRR” with the pointy teeth and the necks and the biting of them, even.

Someone said “Ga-huygens”.

Then the hot girls got guns and were all “AAAAAAAAHHHH” BLAM BLAM BLAM and the vampires were all “I’ll take your bullets” and they kept comin’ and comin’ and then (spoiler alert) there was some business with an old guy and a shoe.