DidntSeeIt.com

Hey guess what it’s time for the new M. Night Shyamalan movie which means people going like this:

Um and also there is a mysterious thing! It is “happening”! What is it? If you say the mystery is that people are still taking M. Night Shyamalan seriously, I am deducting points from you for being mean.

In actuality — if you will let me continue — the mystery is that some people are dying. And nobody knows why. Luckily, there is a high-school science teacher around because only a high-school science teacher can figure out this kind of thing. Did you know that school is important? Support your local school music program.

Oh but what is EVEN MORE LUCKY is that because of how he is a high-school science teacher, we get to see the word “EINSTEIN” right next to Mark Wahlberg’s skull, which is the best thing I’ve seen all year and really cracks me up for some reason.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Anyways, um, so at the end he figures it out and things are OK. Oh yeah and John Leguizamo is in it playing a straight man and also there is a kid but she doesn’t die.

Some people are making a big deal about how this is M. Night Shyamalan’s first rated R movie, but I don’t see what the whoop is. M. Night Shyamalan has always cared deeply about children, and what better way of showing it than keeping them away from his latest shitty movie.

B+